A small Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. 

Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very "in the mood", and difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. 

The gorilla was in heat.  To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available. 

While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Bubba, a biker and part-time grounds keeper, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages.

Bubba, like most bikers, had little education, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. 

So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution.  Bubba was approached with a proposition. 

Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for £100?

 Bubba showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

 The following day, Bubba announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her.  Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this." 

The park administrators quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.

The waitress was tired of this one biker always hitting on her, so she came up with a plan.

"I'll tell ya what, stud.  I'll have sex with ya on two conditions. 

First, it'll cost ya 50 bucks. 

Second, you have to guarantee me that bells will ring and lights will flash."

He smiled, handed her $50 and led her over to the pinball machine

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to pour everyone a drink on him. 

Once the bartender has poured everyone a drink the guy asks everyone in the bar to join him in a toast.

The guy raises his glass and says, "All bikers are assholes". 

A guy at the opposite end of the bar says, "hold-on a minute I resent that!"

 The first guy says, "what's wrong are you a biker?" 

There's a fellow who is an avid rider.  Actually he's a motorcycle fanatic. 

He has not missed a weekend of motorcycle riding in years. 

Every Saturday and Sunday morning he gets up very early and goes meets his buddies for a nice long ride.  On this one morning, he gets up early, gets dressed, gets his riding gear out of the closet and goes out to the garage to prepare to leave. 

While out there it started raining a torrential downpour.  There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind is blowing at 30 mph.  He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the Weather Channel.  From there he finds it's going to be bad weather all day long.  So he puts his bike back into the garage and comes back inside.  He quietly undresses and slips back into bed where he cuddles up to his wife's back, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out riding his bike today?"

This biker went to a store the other day, and was in there for only about 5 minutes. 

However, when he came out there was a cop writing a parking ticket.

So the biker called the cop a pencil-necked Nazi. 

The cop glared at him and started writing another ticket for having worn tires!

The cop finished the second ticket and put it on the cars windscreen with the first. 

Then he started writing a third ticket!  This went on for about 20 minutes and the more the biker abused the cop, the more tickets he wrote.

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to this biker kneeling at a grave nearby. 

 The biker seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 

"Why did you have to die?  Why did you have to die?" 

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. 

For whom do you mourn so deeply?  A child?  A parent?" 

 He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips."

In the Computer Science Dept. at King’s College, University of London they built this super computer with artificial intelligence that could carry on a conversation with anyone at their relative intelligence level.

 All one had to do was type in their IQ and the computer, through its' voice activated-sound generating processor, would begin the conversation.

The publican was washing his glasses when an elderly Irishman came in.  With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over a stool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.  The Irishman looked down the pub and asked, "Is that Jesus down there?"  The publican nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, too.

 The next patron to come in was an ailing Scotsman with a hunched back, who moved very slowly.  He shuffled up to a stool and asked for a drink of Scotch.  He also looked down the pub and asked,

"Is that Jesus sitting at the end of the bar?" 

The publican nodded, so the Scotsman said to give Him some Scotch as well.

 The third patron to enter the bar was a biker, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "I’ll have a pint of your best bitter!"  When he noticed Jesus sitting at the end of the bar he said, "Hey, is that God's Kid down there?"  The publican nodded, so the biker told him to give Jesus a pint, too.

 As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"  The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door.

 Jesus then touched the Scotsman and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"  The Scotsman felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.

 Then Jesus walked toward the biker, but the biker just jumped back and exclaimed,

"Don't touch me!  I'm drawing disability!"